She Was Planning A Future Without Me...

She was planning a future without me... I was still learning how to survive the present.

Every day, I feel split in two.

On the outside, I show up... for the kids, for routines, for what still matters to me.

On the inside, I am in agony, trying to understand how everything I believed was solid can disappear so quietly.

In amongst the sadness, I am disoriented.

Trying to grieve something that hasn’t fully ended, while watching someone else already move on.

Trying to be steady for my children while feeling anything but steady myself.

I am losing shared meaning.

The feeling that we were once facing the same direction.

That whatever came next, we were imagining it together, not just the two of us, but as a family.

Now, I am learning, seeing, and feeling a harder truth.

I am not her world anymore.

And as she has said herself, I am not her person.

On the inside, my soul bleeds a thousand tears.

On the outside, I remain grounded for the kids.

Broken, but still a dad 💔